This summer, I went to a festival by myself while I was solo traveling. There were hundreds of people, it was late at night, and I started to feel a bit nervous, anxious, and lonely—a perfect mix of emotions for an ideal festival mindset, right?
I started hearing a critical voice telling me that I shouldn't feel this way, that I was there to have fun. Another part of me longed to connect with people, but I didn't want to act out of anxiety or loneliness. I didn't want to seek out others because I was afraid or feeling isolated.
Then I started to repeat a mantra that, I admit, I once found super cringe: "I don't chase; I attract. What belongs to me will simply find me." I repeated this to myself and took deep breaths. I could feel all the parts of me that were lonely, anxious, and critical start to make room, and I immediately felt lighter. Shortly after, someone with the most beautiful smile and childlike curiosity came up to me, and suddenly, I met her wonderful friends. We hung out until sunrise, completely unexpected.
I always found the idea of affirmations cringe. To me, they felt fake, not genuine—something out of a cliché self-help Instagram page. I never really questioned why I had such strong opinions against affirmations. Maybe I used to tell myself that I wasn't good enough, and hearing otherwise made me uncomfortable. Perhaps it was my inner critic who was too closed-minded. Maybe, deep down, I feared my true potential.
It took me years to recognize the power of the mind. What we see, hear, and repeat to ourselves is reflected in our external world. As American rapper NF says in one of his songs, which addresses his mental health: "The mind is a powerful place, and what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way."
Similarly, Buddhist psychologist Jack Kornfield encourages us to reflect: "The heart is like a garden. It can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there?" Every time I say a mantra, it's like I'm planting a seed in the garden of my mind. The more seeds I plant, the closer I get to my truth.
Affirmations—statements like "I can" and "I am"—help create inner calm and collaboration between different parts of myself. Instead of letting them take over, I can work with them. These statements help me feel more connected to myself, providing comfort and safety to the parts of me that need validation. These parts need to hear validation to relax and step back, allowing room for my authentic self to emerge.